


Swap

by randomcheeses



Series: What if? [11]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: AU, Crack, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-18
Updated: 2010-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-11 03:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomcheeses/pseuds/randomcheeses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you don't know what it does, don't touch it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swap

**Swap  
**  
_Note to self, _Ed thought as the smoke cleared, _when you don't know what an array does, don't touch it. It's only one of the very first thing an alchemist learns. You moron_.

He coughed and looked around. "Al?" he yelled. "Al, are you there? Answer me!"

More smoke cleared and Ed caught sight of Al's upside down suit of armour attempting to extricate itself from a pile of rocks. That reminded Ed of his own situation. His automail leg was trapped underneath a boulder and the array had torn his arm to bits when it exploded. He wouldn't be able to transmute himself free.

"Dammit. Hey! Is there anyone else here? Colonel? Lieutenant? Are you still there? We need help!"

To Ed's relief, familiar blue uniforms began to appear through the smoke. Mustang, Hawkeye and the rest of the Colonel' subordinate were making their way carefully across the collapsed rocks towards him. However, as Ed watched them approach, he was struck with a feeling that something wasn't quite right.

Ed squinted and the nagging feeling that something was off intensified as he got a closer look at his rescuers. What was the Colonel doing wearing a first lieutenant's uniform? Also, where were the paranoid bastard's ever-present gloves?

Furthermore, what the hell was Hawkeye doing wearing a Colonel's stripes? Had they accidentally worn each other's jackets? How could they possibly have- _No, wait, _Ed decided, _I don't really want to think about that._

"Lt Mustang," Hawkeye said. "Get to Fullmetal. Find out how badly she's injured. We need to know that before we try freeing her, or it could make the situation worse."

Ed blinked as Mustang obediently made his way towards him. _She? Her? **Lieutenant **Mustang?_

"Hey, Eddie," Mustang called, in a friendly voice completely devoid of his usual arrogance. "Just hang on, okay? We'll have you out of here in no time."

Ed's mouth fell open.

_Okay, there's definitely something wrong here. . ._

  
###

_Okay, _Roy thought, _this is just weird. . ._

"Seriously?" the even shorter, female version of Fullmetal said incredulously to Lieutenant Hawkeye. "You take orders from Lieutenant Mustang? But he's a total dork!"

"That's _Colonel_ Mustang here, thank you very much."

Edwina Elric turned to the dark-haired man who was giving her an indignant look. "Whatever. Just help me reverse this so I can go home. Jeez," she muttered as Mustang stared at her with his mouth open. "What moron put you in charge?"

"Of this particular operation?" Mustang said smugly, regaining some of his mental balance. "The Fuhrer actually."

"Ahh," Edwina nodded understandingly. "So what you're saying, is that someone gave Fuhrer Hughes too much coffee."

There was a brief, stunned, silence.

"Hughes. . . is the Fuhrer in your world?" Mustang asked slowly.

"Well yeah, I doubt she'd be living in the official residence with her husband and daughter otherwise, right?" 


End file.
